I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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