Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize