you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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