Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
