Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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