my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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