Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just had sex bonerless
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
