Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
