so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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