help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize