yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
