You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
