She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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