where am i from again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
