Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
