the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i think my cat just said my name.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
