I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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