Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize