Its about making memories worth repressing
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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