She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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