Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
