I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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