one might say we're banned from that church
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
