There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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