i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
