he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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