I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
