I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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