break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Two words: blizzard sex
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
