You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
