i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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