I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
