She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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