Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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