Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
