Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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