I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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