I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
