Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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