Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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