At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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