I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
