I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
well you can't waste a boner
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
