i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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