i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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