Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
