Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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