How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
