he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
