its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
