Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
