I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
