Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The power of my boobs compel you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
