So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
