God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
