woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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