I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
