Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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