absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
