Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
