Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
