This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
the raccoons are back...
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