you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
