NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
