I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
