Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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